Friday, 4 November 2016

"You Can't Be That Sick If You..."

So I've not had a great few weeks, well couple of months if I'm honest. As many of you know, that suffer with a chronic illness, flares come and go. Well this one doesn't seem to want to go and as it seems I'm going to have to go back on the steroid tablets. Back to the joys of the puffy moon face, yay! -_-

Anyway, since this bad spell started due from the usual little stresses we face in our daily lives, I've noticed how often people say to me 'you don't look very sick' 'can't be that ill if you can go out' 'if you ate such and such you'd be cured'. Well why don't you just shut your mouth?! It drives me insane how much those sorts of comments get said to me on a regular basis. Unless you suffer with the same condition as someone I honestly think you should keep your opinions and comments to yourself. Plus everyone that suffers with either crohns or colitis can have different symptoms and side effects depending on treatment. What works for some doesn't always work for others. I've learned this a lot since getting UC as what works for my Mumma who suffers, doesn't always work for me and vice versa.

It seems that if you are that unwell that you shouldn't be at work or you shouldn't go to friends birthdays for example. I've known some people take a day or two off for a cold! I mean, could you imagine if we did that when we're ill which is almost everyday?! We wouldn't end up keeping a job for long haha! As a hairdresser I have clients everyday, I love my job and couldn't imagine not working. So although since having ulcerative colitis and having daily pain and whatnot I've learnt to cope with it and work through it so I don't have to let clients down. There have been days where I've woken up and can't physically lift my head or move my legs to get out of bed in the morning or I can't leave the toilet in case of an accident so I've had to call in sick. I hate calling in sick. I cannot stand letting people down and feel guilty all day. So to then have people comment, 'but you were fine when I saw you yesterday' and such n such, it's just so frustrating because it's such a hard thing to explain if you don't suffer with a chronic illness. 
The worst thing for me I find being so young still is that people seem to expect you to stop living. I don't want to stop doing things I enjoy just because I have an illness out of my control. It takes over enough of my life as it is! I've always loved going to festivals, so even though I was in hospital earlier this year I wasn't going to let that stop me. You just have to prepare yourself. I make sure I have enough medication to see me through, that I've taken it easy prior to the event and that I give my body a day or two after to recover from it. Why should we have to miss out just because we're ill?

As I said at the beginning I've had a rough few weeks, and as I'm one to vent on my social media accounts at times, people couldn't wait to give me grief after a night out. I'd been a tad fragile since coming back from a holiday as I came back to a lot of stressful situations. As some of you may know stress is the main trigger for a flare up. My baby sisters birthday was coming up and we had planned such a lovely weekend for her I was determined to be well enough to attend. I ended up having to take a day off work the weekend before so I made sure I wasn't too busy for the rest of the week to take it as easy as possible and when the day came round I felt fine! I was so happy as I knew how much she'd been looking forward to it, hoping everyone would attend. As we celebrated through the night I was so happy I hadn't had to let her down and that 2 months of careful eating, taking it as easy as possible and no drinking whatsoever had paid off! But like always I was ill the next day, which I always prepare for so I make no plans to do anything except recover in bed haha! Yet as soon as the pictures went online the amount of remarks I got just really pissed me off. People assume/think you shouldn't drink if you're ill. Who says I wasn't just having a soft drink? I admit I wasn't but then again who likes to be the only sober one in a club when all you're friends are pissed haha?! Plus I know my limits. I'm still not well now but I know its from all the stress I've had going on which is proving hard to cope with/resolve so that's why it's back to steroids and more blood tests.

 Sister's Birthday Night

Halloween Party

I just really needed to rant to you guys about this as I feel it's something a lot of us 'sick' ones have to deal with. Our chronic illnesses keep us very limited and control enough aspects of our lives as it is and I feel if we feel strong enough one day to go out and do something 'normal' then fuck it! I know I for one feel like a prisoner in my own body enough as it is without someone that doesn't understand telling me how I should be living my life.
Enjoy each moment you're well enough to do something fun, life is short as it is. Don't let your illness and others unimportant opinions stop you from doing what you want it life!

Much Love,

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