WEARING | Candy Girl

Happy Monday girliesss,

So the sun was shining so it was another excuse to try and get some sun to my pale white legs in this gorgeous crepe skort (found here) from BooHoo. The skort comes in 3 different colours but I choose black as I find the colour easy to work with and knowing me white would get dirty far too quickly haha! I paired it with this lovely crop lightweight fisherman knit jumper also from Boohoo (found here) which comes in a whole range of colours so if pink isn't for you you'll be sure to find a colour that is! Pastel colours seem to be everywhere at the moment which I love as I find the tones suit my snow white like complexion aha. Also great as I managed to use my cute pastel mint bag I picked up from h&m 2 years ago!

I wore my chunky cut out boots as per as I'm yet to find a new pair of shoes I love! But for now these are a perfect spring boot as the cut out makes them a warmer weather alternative to boots (':  

Sammiii

xo

YOUTUBE | OhSammiii

So for many of you that don't know, I have a youtube channel and have done for quite a while now. I started my channel about 2 years ago and use to film on a weekly basic. Due to certain circumstances at the time I ended up deleting all my videos despite a few of my videos having more than 20,000 views. I decided to give it another shot and get back into the swing of filming again. If you know me in person or have followed me on instagram for a while you'll know I like to switch my hair colour up a lot and am obsessed with makeup so that's mostly what I do on my channel. Check it out and subscribe if you like! Feel free to send me any requests (': 

Get Ready With Me | EveryDay Smokey Eye

How To | Big Messy Bun 

Sammiii
xo

WEARING | Sunday Basic

So Sunday is very much my lazy day where I usually tend to go for comfort and basic. As the sun was out I decided to get the pale legs out but seeing as you can never trust the British weather I grabbed my comfy chunky knit jumper to keep the chill at bay slightly.

Bodycon Dress//Asos

Jumper//Primark

Rucksack//TKMaxx

Nikes//Very

HUF Socks//Ebay 

(Our dog Bruno aka The Boob, decided to jump in some of the shots as he wasn't getting any attention aha)

Sammiii

xo

WEARING | Mandala Blue

So I saw Pixie Lott in this skirt a while back and knew I had to get it in my wardrobe and at £28 and a voucher code for 20% off I had to grab it! I think the colours in the skirt go so well with the baby pink crop polo I bought at the same time but also grabbed a similar cut-out one in black to make the skirt more versatile for a night out with a pair of chunky heels. This outfit ending up being a tad too girly for me once pairing the skirt with the crop top hence why I added my chunky cut-out River Island boots I got a few months back. This being my first outfit post please be kind and I'm sorry I'm so ghostly pale but unfortuantly I don't tan like the rest of my family and faking it is just too much effort for me aha! 

Skirt// Motel

 Top//Motel

Boots//River Island 

Sammiii

xo

Testing Out...

So a few weeks back me and a friend had a day out in London to meet a photographer who wanted to shoot me. 

It all came about when I applied for Suicide Girls, which I am yet to finish the whole process as you need a 'full set' to become a 'hopeful'. A photographer from SG saw my application and contacted me asking if I would like to do a shoot in London when she comes to visit for a month. I jumped at the chance to work with her after checking out her blog. I decided it would be a fun experience and would also help me realise if this is something I really want to get into or not. So I set a date with her meeting in a London hotel and said I wanted my pictures to be something similar to what you see on SG and FRONT; as I collect the magazine which made it easy for me to show her what I wanted to achieve and as a little bit of inspiration.

I had never done anything like this before so I was extremely nervous! But as we got further into it I was having so much fun! We played music which helped me relax and having my friend there helped my confidence. I found the confidence to do a few topless ones but as I don't have any fully nude, I unfortunately can't use them as a full set for my SG profile.

So here are a few of the shots. Decided not to post the topless ones as I want to keep them for professional people interested in shooting/working together. Really hope to get into this professionally at some point in the near future!

 

Sammiii

xo

Dear Diary...

So today it took me 5 hours to get out of bed, which is not normal for me. Normally I'm up at 7/half 7 each morning to head to a full day of work which I love! Due to shitty circumstances I was signed off work on Monday for 10 days. So now I am going out of my mind BORED! I ended up heading to town to pop into work and say hi but ended up having a horrible anxiety attack in the middle of town causing me to look like a right fruit loop crying and struggling to breathe aha! I know I have life so much easier than most; I know my problems are nothing compared to others. I know I've turned them into issues in my own mind. I know I need to get out of this mindset because I'm just making myself ill and making myself depressed and I know it's a horrible cycle I've created for myself but I can't help but think like this. I do not see the point in anything. Been signed off work because getting myself upset and stressed has caused my skin to go crazy and my eczema has got so bad I cannot move my fingers on my left hand meaning I cannot work. I hate that I've let a break up cause me to open up all my problems I've spent years getting over and made myself feel like this shit person again. I have had horrible relationships and I finally had a good one yet I couldn't even keep hold of him. The guy I thought I would spend the rest of my life with doesn't want me and I can't change that. You can't force someone to love you or be with you. You can't make them stay. No one will stay if they don't want to and I've learnt that with friends and family. Everyone that I get close to leaves. Everyone. I just hate that feeling like the most horrible girl to exist. What is so wrong with me that everyone wants to leave. I had counselling a couple years back to help me get over all my issues that made me down and anxious and now because I've let what a guy wanted to do affect me so much in my own head I've made myself feel like absolute shit. I keep going round in my head to think about what I have done wrong to make people/guys run a mile. I know 'I need to love myself before someone can love me' but it's fucking hard when as soon as something looks up for you something/someone comes along and shits all over it. Hence why I am a negative person. Nothing goes right for long. I know if I want to be happy I need to think more positive but it's fucking hard! I just want to give up. Yes I love my family, I love my job, I love that I finally have my own space by moving into my own flat but I honestly feel like I have no reason to be here. Someone could live my life so much better than me. I wish I could just give my body to someone that's in need of it. Someone who actually wants a life. To be honest I just want to sleep forever and be up there in dream land with my Dad. I've had enough of spending everyday faking a smile. 

I just want to sleep now.

Fingers crossed things look up soon.

Sammiii

xo